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November 13, 2004
Have you seen my center?
I just got back from a half hour trot around west hollywood. Damn, it felt good. I'm officially off work for two weeks, and now that the time off has begun, I've been fully hit with how much I need this time.
The last four years have been saturated with Yoga, and changing, and figuring shit out, and letting shit go, and mostly just getting solid with who I am. But then I reached this point where I felt as if the entire life I'd built was based on a version of me that wasn't really me now, but was me in survival mode. Thus, complete flailing and imbalance all over again. There are surely aspects of the first me's productivity that I'm very thankful for, but there are surely aspects of the first me that are gone. So I was left with this mingling of two of me, from two different time periods. The fusion of the two mes has caused me to be totally volatile and unstable... not to mention the election results and accepting that there's another four years of idiocy in the White House.
So, yesterday at 5pm when my time off officially began, I just started bawling. Total happiness that I can dedicate two weeks to regaining my center. To finding the rest of the me that has been supressed by me, and others... to letting go of reaction to people's reactions...
Plus, I can finally finish watching Alias Season 3!
Here's to Kamming, for real.
Posted by kam at November 13, 2004 05:39 AM
Comments
I'm so happy for you having some time off to find your center. And I completely hear you, on the "two me's" thing, I've been thinking a lot about that idea lately. Must be something in the air. Enjoy your "sabbatical!"
Posted by: Sarah at November 18, 2004 09:29 AM