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June 21, 2004
Melancholy daze
I'm not quite sure what's going on. I know I'm changing like a mofo, but man... I can't quite tell which end is up right now.
Yesterday, in a total daze, I put on my running shoes and went outside and did sprints for about half an hour. Just because I was going to scream if I didn't do something that involved major intensity and power. I have a feeling it's going to be a daily occurance, these sprints on Willoughby... I felt much better afterwards. The gay pride parade was yesterday, so it was an added bonus that I got to test my navigational skills while sprinting, having to weave through alot of pedestrian traffic. The one thing I think I need to work on, is getting the "I HATE EVERYTHING" look off my face while sprinting. It seems like the sprinting may actually be an anger management tool. Which is good, as I've been somewhat angry at myself for choosing the path I did.
Now, let me expand on that... I'm angry at the outcome of the path, but I'm grateful to have tread the path... as I wouldn't be having the realization I'm having, had I not lived the years that led to the realization. But that doesn't seem to negate the anger any. Like I should've just done the life of a starving artist, instead of choosing a life of a fed artist. But would I be as close to my art had I chosen that path, or would I be resenting it? It's one of those things where I just need to accept that I am where I am because that's where I'm meant to be, but damn... I want to fly.
Here's something to think about:
Posted by kam at June 21, 2004 02:52 PM
Comments
Ooooooh, noisy, shiny, crap rocks!
Posted by: romy at June 22, 2004 11:56 PM