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June 21, 2004

Melancholy daze

I'm not quite sure what's going on. I know I'm changing like a mofo, but man... I can't quite tell which end is up right now.

Yesterday, in a total daze, I put on my running shoes and went outside and did sprints for about half an hour. Just because I was going to scream if I didn't do something that involved major intensity and power. I have a feeling it's going to be a daily occurance, these sprints on Willoughby... I felt much better afterwards. The gay pride parade was yesterday, so it was an added bonus that I got to test my navigational skills while sprinting, having to weave through alot of pedestrian traffic. The one thing I think I need to work on, is getting the "I HATE EVERYTHING" look off my face while sprinting. It seems like the sprinting may actually be an anger management tool. Which is good, as I've been somewhat angry at myself for choosing the path I did.

Now, let me expand on that... I'm angry at the outcome of the path, but I'm grateful to have tread the path... as I wouldn't be having the realization I'm having, had I not lived the years that led to the realization. But that doesn't seem to negate the anger any. Like I should've just done the life of a starving artist, instead of choosing a life of a fed artist. But would I be as close to my art had I chosen that path, or would I be resenting it? It's one of those things where I just need to accept that I am where I am because that's where I'm meant to be, but damn... I want to fly.

Here's something to think about:

Posted by kam at 02:52 PM | Comments (1)

June 09, 2004

3:29 pm

May kicked my ass all over the block, boy.

Now, my favorite current thing is that I've pledged to call off all travel, save for to Pgh to see my family, so that I save money for Helicopter training. I was looking at the numbers, and my number one money-sucker is travelling. That was cool on one respect, as travelling is fucking sweet, but not cool in the "contributing to my longest dream" respect. Thus, my last blast out of town is to visit Jodes in August, and then I don't fly anywhere but Pgh until I fly myself elsewhere in a chopper. Here Here. I'm a bit sad to sacrifice a group trip to Costa Rica next year, but I'm alot sadder that I've put off saving my helicopter money for so long. It's time to shift my moneymaker from computer to pilot. I've already started absorbing "The Illustrated History of Helicopters". Fucking Yes.

The next current awesomeness going on, is I had another session with Nancy "Native American Healer Extroidinaire" Furst up in St. George, Utah this past weekend. Turns out it's been the Wedge Eagle that's been hanging out with me... but that's another story that's not quite blog-ready.

Hmmm... writing has stopped!

This divine photo is from http://www.australianportraits.com/

Posted by kam at 03:37 PM | Comments (0)